Helping your Children Manage their Disputes
How does your child handle a dispute? Conflict management is an important skill that every child should learn from a young age. When children experience conflict lots of different emotions may rush through them including anger, rage, sadness, jealousy or a host of others.
You can help your child to learn to handle conflict well.
Teach your child these steps of conflict management and they will learn that every conflict has two sides.
Conflict Management Strategies
Each person should
1. Listen while each person tells what happened from their perspective
is an important goal here.
3. Speak using words like "I feel...." Do not use words like "You made me..."
4. Take turns speaking. Children can take turns holding an object so to make speaking easier. Who every is holding the object talks. Be sure to take turns holding the object. This can be timed if need be.
5. After both kids are clear about what the problem is. They need to work together to find a solution.
6. Think of ideas and share them with each other.
7. Agree on a solution.
8. Put the solution into action.
Successful Resolution of Disputes
There are some pointers to ensure kids follow to make the conflict resolution successful.
1. No name calling- don't say anything to the other person that could hurt their feelings
2. No raised voices- speak in a kind voice
3. No negative physical contact like pushing, hitting
School should be encouraged to include dispute management and mediation or negotiation programs for students.
Remember conflicts do not go away if you ignore them, it is best to deal with the issue and find a resolution. Both parties need to compromise in order to find a resolution.
Ensure you child is not being bullied as this is a different type of conflict with different resolutions and strategies.
Bibliotherapy can also be helpful in helping children express themselves during divorce. Check out these conflict management books about divorce.